2010-08-07
Six Ninety Nine!
$6.99 for a processing fee? Are you kidding me? Is active.com going to have some hot tri girl suck my....Dick Evans?
Oh, sorry. Trying to keep this PG-13.
I signed up for the big DICK on September 5th, had to take out a payday loan (maybe not). This will really test me, as I have been having trouble downing the calories, and haven't done a ride over 4 hours ALL YEAR (must stop typing in all caps). Not going to think I can win, but I have to at least stay with the main group to the Temple of the Valleys feed. On my ride today I felt as if I can still do it, because Hawaii cycling isn't exactly NorCal. Hawaii races are about the same speed as cat 4 races here.
On my ride today I was rolling up easy to a red like on Brokaw, and some fat shmuck in a large white American sedan honked for me to get out of the way. I almost chased them down but he lost me in the BAY 101 parking lot. Mind you it is 9am, and the Bay 101 casino parking lot is full. WTF?
Well come to find out he was running late to the 9am tournament Bay 101 runs every Saturday. What a waste.
Oh, sorry. Trying to keep this PG-13.
I signed up for the big DICK on September 5th, had to take out a payday loan (maybe not). This will really test me, as I have been having trouble downing the calories, and haven't done a ride over 4 hours ALL YEAR (must stop typing in all caps). Not going to think I can win, but I have to at least stay with the main group to the Temple of the Valleys feed. On my ride today I felt as if I can still do it, because Hawaii cycling isn't exactly NorCal. Hawaii races are about the same speed as cat 4 races here.
On my ride today I was rolling up easy to a red like on Brokaw, and some fat shmuck in a large white American sedan honked for me to get out of the way. I almost chased them down but he lost me in the BAY 101 parking lot. Mind you it is 9am, and the Bay 101 casino parking lot is full. WTF?
Well come to find out he was running late to the 9am tournament Bay 101 runs every Saturday. What a waste.
2010-08-01
Vampires
I remember when Vampires were cool...
Blood, fangs, ultra violence.
Now they are just brooding emo douchebags.
Blood, fangs, ultra violence.
Now they are just brooding emo douchebags.
2010-07-10
Heading South
Leesville was a bum trip, but atleast I finished. As soon as the road got bumpy I got gapped for a second and that was all she wrote. Bumped along for 30 miles, then hammered the smoother roads and finished in 3:17. Not horrible...who am I kidding I was over half an hour behind the winner. But to be honest my impetus was thrown out the door once I was off the back.
Seems like I've been getting worse and skinnier since my last treatment. To make matters worse the 3rd wave of treatments starts July 19th. I'm trying to find the legs for Watsonville next weekend.
This getting boring. Maybe I need to toss in some pictures.
Okay those are lame too, my life isn't really all that comical. Frequent hospital visits and long clinic waits are exactly going to win me last comic standing. Atleast it hasn't been oppressively hot this summer, unless...
If only Vegas had ladies this hot all this time, not just fat tourists.
Seems like I've been getting worse and skinnier since my last treatment. To make matters worse the 3rd wave of treatments starts July 19th. I'm trying to find the legs for Watsonville next weekend.
This getting boring. Maybe I need to toss in some pictures.
Okay those are lame too, my life isn't really all that comical. Frequent hospital visits and long clinic waits are exactly going to win me last comic standing. Atleast it hasn't been oppressively hot this summer, unless...
If only Vegas had ladies this hot all this time, not just fat tourists.
2010-06-13
One Goal
"I haven't seen you in a while."
"I've been real sick..." I usually leave it at that unless the issue gets further pressed. I don't want any charity, I don't want a fundraiser in my name, I don't want to be a self servant egotistical waif. Lot's of people get "sick" and have to let the whole world know. I don't care...I don't care if I'm in the newspaper or making headlines (sure my club's sponsors would love it). All I want to do is ride my bike. I just wish I could still hang with the elite riders. Now I'm languishing at the bottom of the results list. I try.
Today I decided to hone my gravel road skills (I've been a sissy lately). So off I head to the airport(?). Then down the Guadalupe Trail. Mind you it's 7am, and shadows infiltrate my field of vision. I wasn't riding very comfortably at the beginning. But it got better once I decided to practice riding between the tire/path "lines". Got to get out of your comfort zone sometimes.
I got to Alviso before the park opened, unfortunately, so I took a detour, and ended up here. Just me, some seagulls, 1000 baseball players (not pictured but believe me), and bugs... Ended up at a landfill (who thought it was a good idea to make landfills right next to the ocean should be shot in the next life). I returned to Alviso and headed for the middle of the bay.
This wasn't the exact route but it's best mapmyride can do, without me manually inputting the route. Apart from the bugs, and the fishy smell that almost made me throw up around 7 miles into it, this was fun. And NO CARS, and all I saw were two humans the whole 8 mile or so loop.
Headed back to ride on the car free pavement free trail, feeling more comfortable switching sides of the trail when passing peds ("Fred" walkers). Passed the airport again, it looks cool but the new parking structure is creepy...
They almost dragged me down with them to the underworld but I made it back. Basically I was knee deep...
I think a few more dirt rides will have me ready to atleast ride Leesville before the climb respectably. Leesville that's all I care about, illness be damned.
"I've been real sick..." I usually leave it at that unless the issue gets further pressed. I don't want any charity, I don't want a fundraiser in my name, I don't want to be a self servant egotistical waif. Lot's of people get "sick" and have to let the whole world know. I don't care...I don't care if I'm in the newspaper or making headlines (sure my club's sponsors would love it). All I want to do is ride my bike. I just wish I could still hang with the elite riders. Now I'm languishing at the bottom of the results list. I try.
Today I decided to hone my gravel road skills (I've been a sissy lately). So off I head to the airport(?). Then down the Guadalupe Trail. Mind you it's 7am, and shadows infiltrate my field of vision. I wasn't riding very comfortably at the beginning. But it got better once I decided to practice riding between the tire/path "lines". Got to get out of your comfort zone sometimes.
I got to Alviso before the park opened, unfortunately, so I took a detour, and ended up here. Just me, some seagulls, 1000 baseball players (not pictured but believe me), and bugs... Ended up at a landfill (who thought it was a good idea to make landfills right next to the ocean should be shot in the next life). I returned to Alviso and headed for the middle of the bay.
This wasn't the exact route but it's best mapmyride can do, without me manually inputting the route. Apart from the bugs, and the fishy smell that almost made me throw up around 7 miles into it, this was fun. And NO CARS, and all I saw were two humans the whole 8 mile or so loop.
Headed back to ride on the car free pavement free trail, feeling more comfortable switching sides of the trail when passing peds ("Fred" walkers). Passed the airport again, it looks cool but the new parking structure is creepy...
They almost dragged me down with them to the underworld but I made it back. Basically I was knee deep...
I think a few more dirt rides will have me ready to atleast ride Leesville before the climb respectably. Leesville that's all I care about, illness be damned.
2010-05-22
Peddling backwards
Gawd, I suck, I mean beyond belief. If I get behind the wrong wheel in a race or ride it's game over. Why??? Freaking doctors can't figure out how to rid me of what I may or may not have without kicking the rest of my bodies ass. My hematocrit has been a steady 36%, just about 5 standard deviations from the norm... :< I still try racing, I went to Modesto last weekend, got caught out when some smucks got dropped and couldn't cross the gap, game over. So I spent 2 hours just dicking around periodically riding hard and integrating with various groups until officials popped up.
I only have one more treatment at UCSF, great...not so fast, I've been told I have a little over a month after this of possibly crappier blood values. I am hopeful by August I will be ready to actually race again. Sick of bringing a pellet gun to a bazooka fight.
Anyway today I tried the Spectrum ride, which I stunk at. I am not very aggressive in training rides so I sit near the back, and again am prone to being in the wrong place. I made it decently far, and actually up some positive gradients in the pack, but a few gaps opened due to crashes or weaker riders and I ended up languishing a little more than I'd like. So I took my own way home, unfortunately I got behind some "Fred's" which is bound to happen on a beautiful Saturday morning in NorCal. I go around and this lady in a neon yellow Fred jacket makes a snide remark about someone passing and not calling out "on your left" (after she was bitching about the Spectrum ride). WTF? These chumps are jabbering like parrots at 4mph on a steep grade sprawled all over the road. The last thing I want to do is distract them, freaking them out, and there's a bunch of chumps on the ground. So I flip her off, and she flips out. Now why should I respect anyone in a Yellow Fred Jacket? Well apparently she won RAAM 8000 years ago and is an expert cyclist or something, I got the proverbial "do you who she is?" from the dork with the Costner in American Flyers moustache riding with them. Screw her trying to lecture me, like I have to yell out on your left every 10 seconds (there are a lot of people riding on Saturdays)? Frick what about just holding your bloody line, I'm not going to chop anybody, I race in 150 person crits, I don't crash, and don't want to crash anybody out. The annoying thing is I can lecture people all I want but people in general are stupid, and will believe whatever they want to believe. So what's the point, might as well just flip them off and ruin their day, life's a bitch! Then they turned right blazing through a stop sign, WTF indeed.
I do have a plan to not suck as much. CLIMB. I've been avoiding the big climbs like the plague (cuz they REALLY hurt now), I went up Bohlmann Thursday and suffered horribly. But I realized even with a 20% O2 deficit I can atleast boost my pain tolerance. I want to try Leesville on July 3rd, I know if I can make it to the bottom of that climb with the group I'll be satisfied, and maybe not finish DFL. Another scan Tuesday, ugh. I sure love high doses of radiation :(
I only have one more treatment at UCSF, great...not so fast, I've been told I have a little over a month after this of possibly crappier blood values. I am hopeful by August I will be ready to actually race again. Sick of bringing a pellet gun to a bazooka fight.
Anyway today I tried the Spectrum ride, which I stunk at. I am not very aggressive in training rides so I sit near the back, and again am prone to being in the wrong place. I made it decently far, and actually up some positive gradients in the pack, but a few gaps opened due to crashes or weaker riders and I ended up languishing a little more than I'd like. So I took my own way home, unfortunately I got behind some "Fred's" which is bound to happen on a beautiful Saturday morning in NorCal. I go around and this lady in a neon yellow Fred jacket makes a snide remark about someone passing and not calling out "on your left" (after she was bitching about the Spectrum ride). WTF? These chumps are jabbering like parrots at 4mph on a steep grade sprawled all over the road. The last thing I want to do is distract them, freaking them out, and there's a bunch of chumps on the ground. So I flip her off, and she flips out. Now why should I respect anyone in a Yellow Fred Jacket? Well apparently she won RAAM 8000 years ago and is an expert cyclist or something, I got the proverbial "do you who she is?" from the dork with the Costner in American Flyers moustache riding with them. Screw her trying to lecture me, like I have to yell out on your left every 10 seconds (there are a lot of people riding on Saturdays)? Frick what about just holding your bloody line, I'm not going to chop anybody, I race in 150 person crits, I don't crash, and don't want to crash anybody out. The annoying thing is I can lecture people all I want but people in general are stupid, and will believe whatever they want to believe. So what's the point, might as well just flip them off and ruin their day, life's a bitch! Then they turned right blazing through a stop sign, WTF indeed.
I do have a plan to not suck as much. CLIMB. I've been avoiding the big climbs like the plague (cuz they REALLY hurt now), I went up Bohlmann Thursday and suffered horribly. But I realized even with a 20% O2 deficit I can atleast boost my pain tolerance. I want to try Leesville on July 3rd, I know if I can make it to the bottom of that climb with the group I'll be satisfied, and maybe not finish DFL. Another scan Tuesday, ugh. I sure love high doses of radiation :(
2010-04-26
Burying it
In a few days it will be half a year since I was gutted like a fish. So it's about time I bury it under the blogpostery (I'm going to make up lame words like this guy.)
I wish I had some interesting tidbit of life to detail like this guy.
But I don't, so I'll leave with an interesting read(if you got this far, as reading the other blogs would probably make you forget mine) from this guy.
Now I have to think a way of breaking the 4th wall of self-deprecation...
I wish I had some interesting tidbit of life to detail like this guy.
But I don't, so I'll leave with an interesting read(if you got this far, as reading the other blogs would probably make you forget mine) from this guy.
Now I have to think a way of breaking the 4th wall of self-deprecation...
2010-04-19
The Purpose ver2
Hello I'm Thomas Mahinulani Novikoff
I was born on Friday March 13th 1981.
On May 16th 2009 I was diagnosed with a Extrahepatic Biliary Stricture. That's about the best explanation I can give you up to this point. Here's a picture of it.
The Y-shaped black part in the upper middle is my extremely dilated bile duct.
On May 10th I noticed I was turning yellow, there were other symptoms that just seemed to a function of my diet and dehydration. But the turning yellow thing was the deal breaker, and on the 15th I was lugging my butt into a hospital emergency room to get someone to figure this out. The next day after a urine test, 5 blood tests, an ultrasound, and a CT scan I was having a tube shoved down my throat getting my plumbing unclogged with an Endoscopic Retrograde Cholangiopancreatography (ERCP). The end result was the picture below.
The tube is the only thing keeping me alive. Otherwise the bile backs up (and bile is toxic stuff), and systematically poisons/destroys the liver. Over time cirrhosis ensues, the liver begins to fail, and that's all she wrote... Thank goodness for modern medicine. Since then I've had the tube replaced 3 times due to occlusion. This results in cholangitis, which for me causes a splitting headache, a fever, chills, and more bile back up.
I've basically been able to resume a normal life...basically. I've been on antibiotics for over 4 months to prevent the cholangitis (the liver is your waste management center so it deposits all the bacteria to get it out, and if it can't go out the conventional way, it's stuck). I take a bile acid called Ursodiol with every meal to help with digestion, liver function, and stent clogging prevention (doesn't do the latter all that well). Otherwise I can still do this...
And still pretty well in fact. I've made some radical changes to my diet . I've cut Gluten out 99.9% (It's near impossible to avoid it completely due to cross contamination). This is because I've also been diagnosed with IBD, possible Ulcerative Colitis. Additionally an earlier diagnosis for Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis [PSC] was another concern. So I have done everything I can to minimize internal inflammatory processes, naturally (no Liver damaging medications). Turmeric, Garlic, and Ginger have become staples to nearly every meal. All red meat is out, which isn't hard for me never liked beef and pork...think about how pigs live....
Anyway my legs have been feeling great. My digestion is an issue, fatty foods just lay me out. I could literally end up in the hospital getting another ERCP.
Right now I'm playing the waiting game. I have an appointment with a surgeon at UCSF October 7th.My doctors can't be certain what it is without a good look at it. My doctors are worried it may be Cholangiocarcinoma, or at least the beginning of it. One of my biopsy's from the ERCP showed dyplasia, and potential neoplasia which could mean anything, nonetheless...it's not normal in my bile duct. The plan is to open me up to see what's going on in there. I've read all the journal articles, there really isn't any other option. One thing is for sure, my bile duct has failed me..EPIC FAIL. It's permanently scarred/inflammed (or worse). If it's not cancer the plan is to do a Hepaticojejunostomy. If it is well....a weight weenie would be happy about a pound of body mass will be permanently gone (and I wouldn't have to buy sketchy wheels). The procedure is called a pancreaticoduodenectomy or whipple procedure, not pleasant. I should be able to ride my bike again, but I won't know at what level for a while. I really enjoy getting slaughtered in NorCal, but if I lose even 10% of my normal operating level, it will no longer be enjoyable.
My purpose for riding has always been to prove I belong. If I can no longer belong...
What's a life without purpose?
The surgery was successful with some minor glitches noticed after the first post surgery CT, but the later PET CT scan proved positive showing nothing of concern. As of April 20th I'm am 75% through my first post surgery treatments. It is kicking my arse, specially my blood cells. Still have done 6 races. Once this is finished and my blood is back to normal I'm going on a racing binge.
I was born on Friday March 13th 1981.
On May 16th 2009 I was diagnosed with a Extrahepatic Biliary Stricture. That's about the best explanation I can give you up to this point. Here's a picture of it.
The Y-shaped black part in the upper middle is my extremely dilated bile duct.
On May 10th I noticed I was turning yellow, there were other symptoms that just seemed to a function of my diet and dehydration. But the turning yellow thing was the deal breaker, and on the 15th I was lugging my butt into a hospital emergency room to get someone to figure this out. The next day after a urine test, 5 blood tests, an ultrasound, and a CT scan I was having a tube shoved down my throat getting my plumbing unclogged with an Endoscopic Retrograde Cholangiopancreatography (ERCP). The end result was the picture below.
The tube is the only thing keeping me alive. Otherwise the bile backs up (and bile is toxic stuff), and systematically poisons/destroys the liver. Over time cirrhosis ensues, the liver begins to fail, and that's all she wrote... Thank goodness for modern medicine. Since then I've had the tube replaced 3 times due to occlusion. This results in cholangitis, which for me causes a splitting headache, a fever, chills, and more bile back up.
I've basically been able to resume a normal life...basically. I've been on antibiotics for over 4 months to prevent the cholangitis (the liver is your waste management center so it deposits all the bacteria to get it out, and if it can't go out the conventional way, it's stuck). I take a bile acid called Ursodiol with every meal to help with digestion, liver function, and stent clogging prevention (doesn't do the latter all that well). Otherwise I can still do this...
And still pretty well in fact. I've made some radical changes to my diet . I've cut Gluten out 99.9% (It's near impossible to avoid it completely due to cross contamination). This is because I've also been diagnosed with IBD, possible Ulcerative Colitis. Additionally an earlier diagnosis for Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis [PSC] was another concern. So I have done everything I can to minimize internal inflammatory processes, naturally (no Liver damaging medications). Turmeric, Garlic, and Ginger have become staples to nearly every meal. All red meat is out, which isn't hard for me never liked beef and pork...think about how pigs live....
Anyway my legs have been feeling great. My digestion is an issue, fatty foods just lay me out. I could literally end up in the hospital getting another ERCP.
Right now I'm playing the waiting game. I have an appointment with a surgeon at UCSF October 7th.My doctors can't be certain what it is without a good look at it. My doctors are worried it may be Cholangiocarcinoma, or at least the beginning of it. One of my biopsy's from the ERCP showed dyplasia, and potential neoplasia which could mean anything, nonetheless...it's not normal in my bile duct. The plan is to open me up to see what's going on in there. I've read all the journal articles, there really isn't any other option. One thing is for sure, my bile duct has failed me..EPIC FAIL. It's permanently scarred/inflammed (or worse). If it's not cancer the plan is to do a Hepaticojejunostomy. If it is well....a weight weenie would be happy about a pound of body mass will be permanently gone (and I wouldn't have to buy sketchy wheels). The procedure is called a pancreaticoduodenectomy or whipple procedure, not pleasant. I should be able to ride my bike again, but I won't know at what level for a while. I really enjoy getting slaughtered in NorCal, but if I lose even 10% of my normal operating level, it will no longer be enjoyable.
My purpose for riding has always been to prove I belong. If I can no longer belong...
What's a life without purpose?
The surgery was successful with some minor glitches noticed after the first post surgery CT, but the later PET CT scan proved positive showing nothing of concern. As of April 20th I'm am 75% through my first post surgery treatments. It is kicking my arse, specially my blood cells. Still have done 6 races. Once this is finished and my blood is back to normal I'm going on a racing binge.
Anyone got some spare clean AB+ blood?
At least I'm still having fun.
Hematocrit is down to 35.6, a five point drop in 2 weeks. Amazing considering I was hammering like a demon last weekend, at the Spectrum Ride, and on my Sunday training ride. Hopefully I can turn it around in two weeks, or I will be set back ANOTHER week in getting life back to 90% of normal (100% will never happen....I DON'T HAVE ALL MY PANCREAS!). I would just love to be back at 43-44, a 20% improvement over what I have now could literally mean making the pivotal early splits and dying off the back in the autobus. I'm tired of just finishing.
Oh and minivans suck. I'm sure every minivan owner must cry themselves to sleep every night.
2010-03-20
Nobody writes blogs anymore, but people still read what's left...?
I'm sick of facebook, the short blurbs leave you scratching your head. Worse is when people say they are going to do something then nothing...no follow up. Anyway.
It's been up and down since the last post. Had a few good races, and some bad ones. My weight is the biggest issue. I eat and eat but don't put on much if any weight, then I destroy all my gains with what I think are productive hard 3 hour weekend rides. Then I race and get throttled. I actually hung to the end of Cantua Creek, then dropped on the finish hill, 20th. At Fort Ord, I stayed in the remnants of the main pack to the finish, and did pretty good on a hilly course, 15th. Snelling was over before it started as I redlined chasing back after getting caught behind a crash, DNF. Today I did a Time Trial, 9.7 miles, and started great then lack of practice showed as I mentally cracked, 25:30 ish, lame.
My main problem is my treatment is hammering my blood cells. My hemocrit has fluctuated between 39 and 35 the past two months. I'm typically a 43. That's not the only issue but it's killing my power. My 10 minute max is about 280W now, my record is 358W. Going to have to do intervals and stop just riding around if I have any ambition of not getting dropped. Also my white blood cells have been below alert levels which has set me back a number of weeks. Actually the fact I'm worried about my 10 minute power after all I've been through and am going through is quite absurd. But if I couldn't ride my bike....I probably not be single :)
I'm glad I'm not in Hawaii though. I'd be going stir crazy as they don't have a road race until June O_o How lame is that? I got to get back to Final Fantasy XIII, because it's awesome.
It's been up and down since the last post. Had a few good races, and some bad ones. My weight is the biggest issue. I eat and eat but don't put on much if any weight, then I destroy all my gains with what I think are productive hard 3 hour weekend rides. Then I race and get throttled. I actually hung to the end of Cantua Creek, then dropped on the finish hill, 20th. At Fort Ord, I stayed in the remnants of the main pack to the finish, and did pretty good on a hilly course, 15th. Snelling was over before it started as I redlined chasing back after getting caught behind a crash, DNF. Today I did a Time Trial, 9.7 miles, and started great then lack of practice showed as I mentally cracked, 25:30 ish, lame.
My main problem is my treatment is hammering my blood cells. My hemocrit has fluctuated between 39 and 35 the past two months. I'm typically a 43. That's not the only issue but it's killing my power. My 10 minute max is about 280W now, my record is 358W. Going to have to do intervals and stop just riding around if I have any ambition of not getting dropped. Also my white blood cells have been below alert levels which has set me back a number of weeks. Actually the fact I'm worried about my 10 minute power after all I've been through and am going through is quite absurd. But if I couldn't ride my bike....I probably not be single :)
I'm glad I'm not in Hawaii though. I'd be going stir crazy as they don't have a road race until June O_o How lame is that? I got to get back to Final Fantasy XIII, because it's awesome.
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